If there’s anything Jeff Kent is good at, it’s pouting. He pouts like a seasoned veteran ought to. It might be a side effect of his chronic case of broomupmybutt-itis, but you have to give it to him: he’s a natural born buzz-kill. I’ve never seen this man smile… until ESPN was kind enough to dig up this picture.

So he DOES smile. There’s evidence! Not very pretty evidence, however.

Some people just look better when they don’t display much emotion. Case in point? Viggo Mortensen.

To paraphrase one of the most annoying celebrity chefs in existence, “yum-fecking-o.” I watched the extended editions of the LOTR movies because of this man.  That’s over ten hours of homoeroticism peppered with fantasy/scifi.  Orlando Bloom can trim his prepubescent pencil mustache and emote! in a corner, for all I care.  Aragorn, he is dreamy.

But when he’s smiling, it’s an entirely different story.

Smiling Viggo, he make the baby Jesus cry.