First off: RIP Mr. Oscar Peterson. and Ms. Benazir Bhutto.

Sure, tigers can do some damage, but so can microscopic creepy-crawly prokaryotes/viruses.

For a couple of days, I couldn’t get the taste of bile out of my mouth, and for a particularly bad 8-hour period, I had difficulty keeping water down. I consoled myself by shopping online and rewatching episodes of 30 Rock and Pushing Daisies.

This sucker (or this sucker’s gastrointestinal cousin) did me in.

You can thank Giant Microbes for plushifying all sorts of microbes, cells, pests and viruses (including mosquitoes, Ebola, toxic mold and herpes).

Tangent: The heartworm has a heart stitched on, chickenpox has a comb, the bacteria responsible for acne has a pimple, and streptococcus pyogenes (flesh eating disease) is holding flatware. And I kind of want the T4 plushie.

… I really shouldn’t be let out in public.

Tangent II: By now, the Brazilian soccer star name generator has made the rounds on the Internet. Bored squishy would be SQUALDO, but more importantly, thanks to the irreplaceable Joe Posnanski, I’ve learned that Barry Bonds would be BILDO.

“Close. So close” – Posnanski.

Back to the topic at hand: this fucking stomach flu. Damn me for not getting that damn flu shot. I can almost hear my boss sing-songing “I told you soooooooo!”

I will be making up my lost caloric intake this coming weekend. FO SHO.