The one small upside of corporate mascots is that companies have already provided you with a convenient outlet for your frustration. To be more specific, my home internet connection has been temperamental (“I think I might let you access Google…. but not let you actually Google anything. Actually… HERE! INTERNET! Actually… JUST KIDDING! Don’t you wish you could have 5 uninterrupted Internet minutes?”), and just blows chunks all around. You price-gouging turdnuggets, I hate you. I ask you to help me out, and then you’ll CHARGE me for a home visit?

The downside is that this exercise in cathartic futility only serves to remind you just how juvenile you really are. And an MS Paint scribblefest doesn’t provide much satisfaction… kind of like playing with already-popped bubblewrap.

PS: Digital Max has a polydactyl foam finger.  He’s cool.