02.22.08
you could click to zoom, but i wouldn’t recommend it
01.14.08
i’m snarked out this morning. enter your own efron joke here.
While I’m posting about overcompensating dudes, might as well get this one over with, too. This isn’t a topic I want to revisit in the near future.
With the humiliating sting of Jessica Alba’s “[you look] like a child with lots of makeup” barely behind him, Zac Efron is now entering phase 3 of the Zac-is-really-butch campaign.
Clicky for a HUGE photo of a manly, rugged, brooding, scruffy Zac Efron with minimal jewelry and/or visible makeup. I’m sure you want to.
I’m convinced. It’s just as convincing and authentic as Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s really, truly candid photos (they’re sickening, aren’t they?).
Photo: Just Jared
can you imagine them co-starring in a buddy cop movie?
Oh, Jack Nicholson. Regrettably, I am not young enough to remember you as a doable movie star (nor have I seen any of your old movies, to be fair). So it’s disturbing when you’re being “cheeky.”
We get it. You were what people of a certain age fondly dubbed a ‘playboy,’ and what would currently be called a nympho-manslut. You, Paris Hilton and Keith Richards combined could easily provide an exhaustive catalog of all known STIs. You would give Wilt Chamberlain a run for his money. If there were a hall of fame for such a thing, you would be a first ballot inductee, and the lone douche who voted against you would be publicly ridiculed.
Interestingly, you and Victoria Beckham have overlapping social circles, the probability of which is as likely as Cher, Dick Cheney and Queen Elizabeth having a slumber party with wine coolers and the complete SATC DVD set. And bizarrely enough, she was your stylist for a photoshoot. (Posh? Stylist? I digress).
“She feels very good too. She’s a very firm person, you know. She’s in good shape.”
I agree that Mrs. Beckham’s body is firm. It’s probably as firm as steel beams or calcified mangoes. But coming from a septuagenarian, firm should only be used to describe one’s resolution/determination, not as a post-grope analysis.
Am I ageist? I don’t expect everyone eligible for retirement to stop being active and become asexual Disney characters. I’m just squeamish with no patience for overcompensation or excessive lechery.
Photos: ICHC, Daily Mail
PS: Pardon the cumbersome, preposition-laden sentences. It’s Monday.
10.26.07
i remember the live-action trailer bee-ing hilarious
Sorry. That was a terrible, terrible pun (self-flagellates). But how cute is this? Chris Rock and his daughter at the premiere of ‘Bee Movie’!
Photo: Just Jared
10.21.07
the girl, however, is adorable regardless of her facial expression
This is the opposite of Viggo: hot when smiling, creepy when emotionless. Take a look at Jonathan Rhys-Meyers.
Aww! How adorable! So wholesome looking, he wins the stereotypical overprotective ex-military/cop father’s seal of approval.
But he looks downright pervy here.
Read the rest of this entry »
10.17.07
i’m still looking forward to her ugly betty guest spot (ducks)
Victoria Beckham’s signature-r accessory: oversized sunglasses or protruding nipples?
10.16.07
oh my
Kathy Griffin and Steve Wozniak (co-founder of Apple) are just sleeping together, actually dating or fracking engaged, depending on what you read. He has an unusual sense of humor, so I can see how they might enjoy each other’s company, but they still seem like a VERY odd couple. Like Elmo and Condoleezza Rice.
10.12.07
cheetos, starbucks, redbull, bare feet and weaves
I have my days when I feel like a rhinoceros with gastroenteritis and multiple hangnails. My only goal is to get through the work day without sleeping at my desk, calling out my co-worker on his exotic cheese-like body odor, or eating a pound of chocolate. The least of my concerns is my attire; as long as I don’t smell or draw stares, I will wear whatever I please. It is because of these days that I have 5 men’s hooded sweatshirts.
It’s not unreasonable that Britney doesn’t feel particularly well, considering her custody battle, her VMA performance and impending record release. So how can you blame her for not giving two shits? “I’m going to go out in public like this, and I DON’T CARE LALALALA.”
But… but…
I’m not snarking on Britney… it’s just that… she needs a mirror. Any, ANY reflective surface will do.
Her love affair with weaves/hair extensions is not going to end well.
10.02.07
i was trying to avoid this, but…
Snarking on Britney has become so heartbreakingly easy that I, of the charred blackened soul, can’t bring myself to do it. Her epic breakdown was disturbingly well documented, beginning with her reality show with Kevin Federline, to the collapse of her marriage, to her impulsive head-shaving and recently culminating in her losing temporary custody of her children. The sad thing is that it’s obvious more trouble is imminent; rock bottom is yet to come.
This Craig Ferguson clip is from February 2007, but its relevance is a testament to the chronic instability of Britney’s mental/physical state. I admit that I don’t watch his show much, but this is worth seeing.
I light a candle for her career, hope her children don’t need too much therapy, and that she rebounds and reconciles with the people who care for her.
[/buzzkill]
never did i think i would post a photo of this person…
Woo. Who knew Clay Aiken was the lovechild of David Caruso and Rosie O’Donnell? Disturbing mental image? You bet!
I’ve never seen an episode of American Idol, Desperate Housewives, The Bachelor, anything with Flava Flav, or The O.C./Hills/Laguna Beach/enter-Southern-California-district-with-over-inflated-housing-costs and-brats-with-raging-sense-of-entitlement. How, I do not know; nomads in Greenland are more pop-culturally aware than I am. But that hasn’t allowed me the luxury of not knowing who Kristin Cavallari, Spencer Pratt, Teri Hatcher, Sanjaya and/or Clay Aiken are. I could probably give you Zac Efron’s measurements and morning makeup ritual, and I’ve never even seen High School Musical (is it a TV show or a movie? I don’t think I even care).
If you’re so inclined (shame on you!), there are more pictures at JustJared. Excuse me while I take a long, long shower.
P.S. I have to say that the fifth sentence isn’t entirely true. I shamefully admit to watching marathons of The Real Housewives of Orange County (but as a real housewife of Orange County, my mother objects; her fake boobs don’t look that horribly fake). I just don’t venture into MTV/VH1/network television much.
