September 25, 2007

the inaugural asshat

Posted in asshat! tagged , , , at 10:29 am by squishy

miiilton

Name: Milton Bradley, no relation to the board game pioneer

Profession(s): Outfielder, currently with the San Diego Padres; reoccurring clubhouse malignant tumor

Demonstration of asshattery (asshatery looks like ass-hate-ry): Bradley, an obviously talented athlete and a GROWN ASS MAN, has the unfortunate tendency to throw juvenile temper tantrums (are there any other kind?) and get injured, and has managed to do both AT THE SAME TIME. After safely reaching first base during a game against the Colorado Rockies, Bradley attempted to chew off the first-base umpire’s head. He was restrained by his manager, Bud Black, but Bradley couldn’t not be contained. Until he, largely unprovoked, crumpled into a heap along the foul line.

Bradley tore his ACL and is out for the rest of the season, which may be greatly shortened since he has jeopardized the Padres’ playoff hopes. In that same game, Bradley managed to injure fellow Padre Mike Cameron by stepping on/crushing his thumb. I don’t think I can overstress the tragic timing of this incident. The Padres are currently tied for the NL wildcard, with 6 games left to play. Their pitching is starting to lag, and Bradley provided most of what little power they had in their middling lineup.

Did I mention Bradley was pissed? He was PISSED. Which doesn’t change the fact that he’s an idiot.

Evidence:

More (amusing) footage, courtesy of ESPN

hat of an ass

note: I was debating between asshat and douchebag, but it was hard to find an appealing picture of a douchebag. I don’t think such a thing exists.

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3 Comments »

  1. Tina said,

    Aw, come on. He acted stupidly, yes, but the first base ump was out of control as well. The real victim is the coach that through MB down to the ground. Imagine all the grief he’s getting for the whole thing, even if he was just doing what he had to. Sucks to be him…

    Maybe I’ll be an asshat for Halloween. It’s between that and wearing a mesh body suit and boxing gloves a la Oscar De La Hoya.

  2. Tina said,

    Oh btw, I’m blubirde, ST. : )

  3. squishy said,

    Si, I’m being unfair. That 1B ump was out of control, and had no business baiting him (is it just me, or are the umpires feistier of late?). It’s just too easy! Milton should’ve shut up, finished the game and called Bud Selig’s office.

    Was that mesh body suit real?!?


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