September 25, 2007

you hear that? that’s the sound of me banging my head on the keyboard

Posted in wtf? at 11:02 am by squishy

spammy

Anyone with an e-mail address has probably been subject to these surveys: Favorite color? Favorite magazine? Favorite food? Favorite animal indigenous to the African continent? Diet Coke or Pepsi One? Blond with lowlights or brunette with highlights? Embarrassing childhood nicknames? Social Security number? Credit score?

I’m guilty of reading, answering and forwarding them, fully knowing that the responses to those particular questions don’t tell me much about the people on my mailing list. “Pfft, that fool likes meerkats. And burritos! He has to be a jerk.”

If I were so inclined, I would come up with more amusing and, well, more obnoxious ones:

Favorite trainwreck starlet?
Books you should’ve read, but didn’t and yet you claim to have?
Do you donate to charity? Really? How much?
What body part could you do without?
Who would you rather sleep with, Karl Rove or Mr. Rogers? Courtney Love or Barbara Walters?
Person(s) you dread seeing at family reunions?
Favorite alkaline earth metal? What about noble gases?
Most annoying accent?
Do you always wash your hands after going to the bathroom? Would you admit it if you didn’t?
Have you ever sabotaged or sought revenge on an ex? Do tell.
What’s the capital of Uzbekistan? Can you locate it on a map? You’re going to Google it now, aren’t you?

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3 Comments »

  1. 1. Lindsay. In memory of the cute, sassy, talented redhead she once was.
    2. Actually I dont have any!
    3. Yes–very little unfortunately. I need a steady volunteer gig though!
    4. I’m pretty attached to them all! Ba-dum-cch.
    5. OK I have no response to this.
    6. I actually like EVERYONE in my family. Is that weird?
    7. None of the above!
    8. Chicago/Midwestern. Especially the short “a” sound, like in “cat.” Like nails on a chalkboard.
    9. Yes! Probably not!
    10. No, but there’s plenty of time yet.
    11. I don’t know, and no, and no, but I claim partial credit because I have a friend from Kazakstan and I *think* I could find IT on a map.

  2. Tina said,

    Fun!

    Favorite trainwreck starlet? Britney because ding dang y’all, she’s fun.
    Books you should’ve read, but didn’t and yet you claim to have? Maybe Catcher in the Rye. Or some Hemingway drivel so I can pretend to have a reason to dislike him so.
    Do you donate to charity? Really? How much? No, not really. I’ll occasionally give $10 hear or there or do a good deed (such as picking up a piece of trash from the road in front of my house) but that’s about it. I’m pathetic. And poor. Congratulations – now I feel assy about myself.
    What body part could you do without? I could do without my saddlebags. Are those considered body parts?
    Who would you rather sleep with, Karl Rove or Mr. Rogers? Courtney Love or Barbara Walters? Is this a 4-way choice? I’d rather sleep with Mr. Rogers, although he’s dead so I guess that makes me sick and Babs Walters, due to the fact I think I’d probably catch something from Co Love.
    Person(s) you dread seeing at family reunions? Ugh. A cousin – Deann. She’s such a beyotch!
    Favorite alkaline earth metal? What about noble gases? I have no idea if I can name a proper alkaline earth metal but I love Sodium (Na) b/c it’s a great abbreviation that seems to have nothing to do with it’s actual name. I’m quite fond of Lawrencium (if that’s a noble gas), because it’s named after me. Or someone with my name. I’m not sure which.
    Most annoying accent? Anything from a mountainous region. Scary.
    Do you always wash your hands after going to the bathroom? Would you admit it if you didn’t? I ALWAYS wash my hands after going to the restroom, although I suppose it’s possible I’ve forgotten in my home once or twice. And I guess I would admit it because I just admitted the possibility.
    Have you ever sabotaged or sought revenge on an ex? Do tell. No. But once a random guy gave me a fake number and he told me enough about himself that I figured out his work number, address, etc. I was seriously tempted to send him porn at work but decided that the bad karma wasn’t worth it.
    What’s the capital of Uzbekistan? Can you locate it on a map? You’re going to Google it now, aren’t you? I’m not going to google it because that would require remembering how to spell it, which I wouldn’t be able to do. I could locate it on a map if the map were very clearly detailed and I had about an hour. Of course this is coming from the person who thought Bolivia was an Eastern European country. I’m not proud.

  3. Lauren said,

    I’m so tempted to actually send this to people. lmao!!


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