October 31, 2007

seriously, my overly sensitive nose will be the end of me

Posted in miscellany at 9:56 am by squishy

Along with those godawful essays, I also need to take the GRE for graduate school, which I finally got around to taking on Saturday. Standardized tests are currently undergoing a computerization revolution, so instead of marking up reading passages with my trusty No. 2 pencil, I had to squint to read a humming monitor. Which is ok, since everyone is similarly handicapped. And typing is so much nicer than scribbling furiously when it comes to the essay/written portion. Luddite, I am not. But what totally and completely sucked wasn’t the computerized aspect. The test itself wasn’t so bad, either. It was the girl in the next cubicle.

I was fortunate enough to be seated next to the flatulent girl in the PJs with the whale tail. She might have been under the delusion that no one could hear her arrhythmic staccato over the cheap noise-canceling headphones the testing center provided, or smell her contributions to the global warming crisis, but she was sorely mistaken. Just when the odor dissipated, she strangled out another fart. Oh sweet Jesus, those farts were horrible. Who could’ve guessed such copious and thunderous flatulence from such a petite girl?

Maybe it was the strain of staring into a computer screen, but for whatever reason, my eyes were itchy and watery by the end of the second section. I blame the gas.

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