January 23, 2008

my soul! with a new and improved charcoal taste!

Posted in so much for my anonymity at 5:41 pm by squishy

RIP Mr. Heath Ledger.

So! Random story time!

I dated this boy, G, for 3 months. He was cute in a hapless Tobey Maguire meets Mr. Bean sort of way (he didn’t LOOK like Rowan Atkinson, unfortunately), and we enjoyed stupid movies and making fun of Karl Rove, Jessica Simpson and the Lakers. It was a low-key, more of a hanging-out on autopilot type of relationship than a relationship-relationship. We saw each other a few times a week and did absolutely nothing for hours. Which was great, since I wasn’t expecting anything more; I had no delusions that I was going to marry this fellow, and I was in no hurry to clarify our, um, status. Then one afternoon, G decided we needed to have a conversation he sincerely referred to as a “heart-to-heart” while actually motioning towards his own heart.

Let me clarify that I loathe, LOATHE hokey, Chicken Soup for the Clichéd Soul phrases (e.g. “all walks of life.” Sweet Jesus, I hate that). It’s an inexplicable pet peeve, much like my distaste for excessive facial hair.

Tangent: Then again, what pet peeve is explicable? They’re all very irrational if you try and analyze it. Why does the improper use of ‘irony’, or they’re-their-there bother me? It certainly doesn’t affect my person, nor does it impact my daily life in any way, but whenever I hear ‘nuke-ular’ (GAAHHHH!!) or see someone make inappropriate use of air-quotes (Britney on Matt Lauer, anyone?), I have to make a conscious effort to suppress my natural reflex to SMACK the guilty party upside the head. Am I alone? I sure hope not. More heads need to be smacked, post haste.

Untangent: I don’t remember much re: the content of that “heart-to-heart.” I was suffering from a mild PTSD; how could I have been such a poor judge of a person? HEART TO HEART?!?! It was like a very rough, very first draft of a Seinfeld episode, with less quirk but commensurate arbitrariness. I think I blamed some commitment issue/phobia and bailed, but in all honesty, his use of that phrase had a withering effect on my attraction to him (…more cumbersome phrasing goodness! You’re welcome).

I dumped someone for using a cliché. I am horrible, but much like Robert Novak, I embrace my horribleness.

Photo: ICHC, as always


1 Comment »

  1. well, you’re not alone. That would have made me show the whites of my eyes.

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