February 28, 2008

hold on – my head just exploded

Posted in sufficiently entertaining, weekly absolution at 5:30 pm by squishy

This will eventually make it onto Cute Overload, I figure. It’s too goddamn cute not to.

Paternal dog Billy takes on an unusual kid

A paternal dog has adopted an abandoned baby goat as his surrogate child.

Billy the boxer has become the constant companion of the 12-day old kid called Lilly. He sleeps with the goat, licks her clean, and protects her from any dangers at Pennywell Farm wildlife centre at Buckfastleigh, near Totnes, Devon.

Source: Daily Mail

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February 27, 2008

who knew jim davis was a modern day kafka?

Posted in sufficiently entertaining tagged at 10:07 am by squishy

I never understood people who thought Garfield strips were funny. The genius behind Garfield minus Garfield has me convinced that at the very least, photoshopped Garfield strips can be entertaining (albeit disturbing).

“Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life?

Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against lonliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb.”

Source: Garfield Minus Garfield

February 26, 2008

i kind of miss the interrupting cow

Posted in miscellany at 12:51 pm by squishy

We interrupt this idiocy to announce that I have received my tax refund, including $4 from the state.

I know that getting a refund is actually not good (i.e. the gov’t has been babysitting my money, while it sat idle earning 0% interest), but shit, try explaining that to the rather large illogical portion of my brain.

PS: For the 2 other people who have also missed the interrupting cow… the myth that interrupting cows can be defeated with moose is false, FALSE I tell you.  Math says so.

February 24, 2008

confession

Posted in los dodgers at 4:03 pm by squishy

I’m taking a vacation day on 2/29 to watch LA play an exhibition game at 10 am on ESPN.

AN EXHIBITION GAME. IT DOES NOT COUNT.

I could very well DVR it, but it’s the first televised game of the year. Plus Kuroda’s pitching. I know what my priorities are.

February 22, 2008

i hate physics, too, but bear with me

Posted in deportes tagged , at 12:16 am by squishy

Shaquille O’Neal (mass = 147.4 kg = 325 lb) is traveling at velocity x towards Raja Bell (mass = 97.5 kg = 215 lb), who is traveling at velocity y towards O’Neal.

Question: If O’Neal’s elbow makes clean contact with Bell’s noggin, what is the total volume of the welt on Bell’s head?

Assume a completely inelastic collision. Show work.

Answer after the jump, complete with visuals.
Read the rest of this entry »

you could click to zoom, but i wouldn’t recommend it

Posted in i hate the word ‘gossip’ tagged , at 12:06 am by squishy

Nicole Kidman + 20 years = Cindy McCain.

Or 15. Maybe even 5.

To wit:

ap_cindy-mccain.jpg

Maybe not the lips, but you get my point. Perhaps.

Photos: Getty/Junko Kimura via JustJared; AP/Gerald Herbert via CTV; AP/Patrick Collard via the NYT

February 21, 2008

many a stupid joke lies in your company name, cox communications

Posted in miscellany at 8:22 am by squishy

The one small upside of corporate mascots is that companies have already provided you with a convenient outlet for your frustration. To be more specific, my home internet connection has been temperamental (“I think I might let you access Google…. but not let you actually Google anything. Actually… HERE! INTERNET! Actually… JUST KIDDING! Don’t you wish you could have 5 uninterrupted Internet minutes?”), and just blows chunks all around. You price-gouging turdnuggets, I hate you. I ask you to help me out, and then you’ll CHARGE me for a home visit?

sigh.png

The downside is that this exercise in cathartic futility only serves to remind you just how juvenile you really are. And an MS Paint scribblefest doesn’t provide much satisfaction… kind of like playing with already-popped bubblewrap.

PS: Digital Max has a polydactyl foam finger.  He’s cool.

February 20, 2008

because i can’t think of anything to ramble about

Posted in miscellany at 7:21 pm by squishy

I needed to honor the new subtitle/subheading/post-colon phrase SOMEhow.

The correct verb, actually, is ‘phagocytose,’ but that’s neither here nor there.

Source: dum dee dum

PS: There’s a drug called cheese. For the uninformed, cheese = heroin + Tylenol PM.

February 14, 2008

bored muppet doesn’t have the same ring to it

Posted in compulsive listmaking at 11:56 pm by squishy

Screen names/IDs I have previously contemplated in various states of consciousness that could actually double as believable indie band names:

– Gouda Buddha
– Oxymaroon
– Chronic Discombobulation
– Non-sequiblerg
– Makeshift Muppet

Or anything with ‘muppet’ in it, for that matter. Sticking ‘muppet’ in any phrase makes it instantly funny (and potentially creepy). Like muppetesque, jumbo muppet, Muppet Antoinette, the lost muppeteer, or muppet jerky. Muppet, muppet, muppet. It’s just a fun word to say out loud.

Then again, like many, many things, it could just be me.

PS: THERE IS NO ‘A’ IN DEFINITELY AND NO ‘E’ IN RIDICULOUS.

February 13, 2008

can you tell i’m happy?

Posted in los dodgers, miscellany at 9:24 am by squishy

<happy dance>
SPRING TRAINING IS HERE!
SPRING TRAINING IS HERE!
SPRING TRAINING IS HERE!
SPRING TRAINING IS HERE!
SPRING TRAINING IS HERE!
SPRING TRAINING IS HERE!
SPRING TRAINING IS HERE!
SPRING TRAINING IS HERE!
SPRING TRAINING IS HERE!
</happydance>

Photo: ICHC

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