March 4, 2008

now THAT would be a great indie band name

Posted in deportes, wtf? at 12:33 am by squishy

I know I’m copping out with all the cut-and-paste jobs, but sweet jesus, this is too good.  Emphasis mine.

“The Cubs have had a variety of injuries this spring. So far, infielder Mark DeRosa was hospitalized with an irregular heartbeat, pitcher Jose Ascanio had a bruised face after getting punched in a robbery attempt, and outfielder Felix Pie missed a couple of days early because of a twisted testicle. Third baseman Aramis Ramirez remains sidelined with a sore right shoulder.”

How can you twist one without disturbing the other? How do you twist a testicle, anyway? They’re just floppy sacs.

I’m stopping myself from thinking too hard about this.


PS: I tried but failed to come up with an appropriate ICHC macro (this one was too obvious).
PPS: Great collection of bizarre sports injuries. Highlights include:

-Former NHL goaltender Glenn Healy missed time between the pipes after he cut his finger while attempting to repair bagpipes

-Tom Glavine, then with the Atlanta Braves, broke a rib when he threw up an in-flight meal on an airplane

-Soccer player David Seaman once broke a bone reaching for his TV remote



  1. Tina said,

    hahahaha! A twisted testicle? Hmmm… me wonders what his bedroom romps might entail… should we break out our highest heels and practice stomping?

    I watched a Yankees/Astros game yesterday and it was so, so sweet. Ah baseball how I’ve missed you. The Astros are busy trying to figure out the names of 90% of their pitching staff. It’s going to be an interesting year.

  2. squishy said,

    I can understand bruised, but when you think of testicles, ‘twist’ isn’t the first verb that comes to mind.

    My condolences on Hunter Pence… (although he should’ve known that you can’t win a battle against a sliding glass door).

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