April 16, 2008

hand me the lye. i need to wash my eyes out.

Posted in miscellany at 4:07 pm by squishy

You know how one wiki search inevitably leads to a mouse-click marathony time-suck through dozens of seemingly unrelated articles and entries? I recently started off with a search for Charlton Heston (RIP) and ended up with Carrot Top by way of, to name a few, Evanston, IL, Jeremy Piven, Brittany Murphy and King of the Hill.

I say this because I clicked my way to STDs. Whatever you do, don’t look up ‘herpes‘ on Wikipedia. There are close-up photos of genital herpes (female and male bits in their full, blistery glory) and OH MY GOD I WANT TO DIE.

I hope I never, ever, ever, ever see a case of genital herpes in real life. I’m sorry you have it, Paris (and the cadre of men you shtupped). I will try my best to not make fun of Valtrex commercials ever again.

Photo: ICHC



  1. Kelly said,

    First of all hello, I’m ttara123 from ST! I saw your link in your sig, was bored, clicked on it, and voila! I am no longer bored but completely occupied by running away from the pictures of herpes. Because I’m sure you understand that you left me no choice but to click on it to see the horror for myself.

    My mother recently emailed me a picture of a zebra-donkey hybrid baby with a little joke about why you shouldn’t sleep around (because then you’ll have adorable zebra-donkey hyrbid babies?) but I think that wikipedia article was far more effective.

  2. Tina said,

    Herpes blows. There was an interesting debate on Jezebel the other day about the herpes stigma. I really think anything that causes sores on genitals is what really gives it the “ick” factor. Chickenpox? Not pretty but it’s a childhood illness mainly and most kids are gross already. Shingles? Also not particularly attractive but a few spots on your abdomen/back area? Bacne is definitely more disgusting. Cold sores are admittedly all kinds of nasty but unless they get all kinds of weepy and uncontrolled, people are used to seeing them and there’s usually only one of them. But seeping sores on one’s privates? Gives me the heebie jeebies. I’d hate to experience it or see it.

    But no judgment to those with the herp out there. If statistics are right, we’ll probably all have it eventually. *shudder*

  3. squishy said,

    Kelly… ttara… such a disconnect!!

    Any type of blister, wart, infection, swelling, leaking (and the like) near any orifice gives me the heebie-jeebies, especially when it’s on me.


  4. Buzzkill: it’s incredibly, incredibly common. It’s also very very common for it never to produce any symptoms at all, let alone of the severity you’re describing. One of my best friends has it, and so I’ve gotten to witness first hand the mental agony she’s suffered over things like how to tell prospective partners, whether it’s even worth the risk that the guy will run screaming, whether she’s going to spend the rest of her life being sexually rejected because she’s unlucky enough to know she carries an STD that legions of people have but never realize… from my perspective, the worst part about it is the anxiety, the fear of rejection, and the actual rejection (cause, yeah, she has been). There’s a simple blood test you can take to find out if you have it, but no one ever does; even since finding out about her situation, I haven’t. I don’t have the balls. Seeing what she’s faced, I’d rather remain blissfully ignorant. Don’t I suck?

    Just a little food for thought, on the topic…

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