April 30, 2008

some minor confessions

Posted in compulsive listmaking at 10:37 am by squishy

– I have never read Catcher in the Rye. Or Moby Dick. Or anything by Jane Austen. I am not worthy of my (expensive) degree in English.

– When I’m in the bathroom at work, and someone in the next stall is moving her bowels, I look to see what shoes she’s wearing so I can identify her later. The chick with the Skechers is the worst offender thus far.

– Bad spelling/grammar deeply, deeply bothers me. Especially my own.

– The only Star Wars movie I’ve seen is the one with Jar Jar Binks.

– I signed up one of my obnoxious ex-coworkers to all sorts of e-mailing lists (mostly for inappropriate things). I have no regrets whatsoever.

– Poodles are ugly, and the ones with floofed up extremities (paws, tip of tail, you know) and/or dyed ears are an ABOMINATION. KEEP THEM AWAY FROM ME.

– I absolutely love the way the British say “buffet.” BOOF-ay. Not like boo with an f, but pronounced almost like “roof” in Canadianese.  I guess I could just say “like beouf.”  Beouf-ay, beouf-ay, beouf-ay.

– I think I’m actually sick of chocolate. This may or may not be because I had 4 Twix bars in one day in an failed attempt to stave off PMS symptoms. This, too, shall pass.



  1. Tina said,

    This is an excellent confession list. But you seriously have to read Jane Austen. How can you ever understand the badassedness (badassery?) that is Clueless if you haven’t read Emma? Same for Bridget Jones and Pride and Prejudice. And let me assure you that the Colin Firth becomes infinitely more thighwarming when you see him in the BBC version of P&P. If it helps any, a thorough knowledge of Jane Austen will increase your Gwyneth hatred as well.

    I think you should make a new list: summer goals and reading some Austen should be #1.

    As for the e-mailing lists, a few friends of mine all have a mutual guy friend who is a total douchebag. He’s somewhat nice and let’s us stay with him when we visit San Fran but a douche nonetheless. Every once in awhile, when I see a mailing list at a store/place I know all the friends frequent (except the guy, obviously because he’s in SF), I’ll see his name on the mailing list sign-up sheet. I didn’t do it but it’s like a “where’s waldo” trail around town of where my other friends have been. It’s all kinds of awesome.

    And I totally do the shoe thing as well. Except our bathroom allows you to see in the cracks of the stalls to see who is using the pisser. I’m a serial crack viewer. I try to do it on the sly because it’s no fun to be peering in a crack and have your eyeball meet someone else’s. Not that I’d know.

  2. Jordan said,

    jesus, it’s about time you posted again.

  3. boobaby said,

    Catcher in the Rye is horrible. My expensive English degree taught me that the classics are often grossly overrated.

    I also check for shoes. Then I judge.

    The one confession I can’t relate to is your poodle hatred. I grew up w/ 3. There are 2 in my immediate family. Ours are mostly mixes and strays-the uglier and more unlovable the better.

  4. squishy said,

    I guess my disdain is towards the owners of overmanicured poodles that have HOT PINK ears (i.e. look like a pretentious Snoopy with a cheap perm).

  5. Lindsey said,

    Many of your confessions are the same as mine.

    Although I consider myself well-educated and well-read, I’ve never read a lot of the classics. I tried to get through Pride and Prejudice, but I just couldn’t do it. I don’t know why.

    I don’t mind poodles as a dog breed, but I think my problem is more with the owners who dye the poor dogs. There is nothing natural about a fluorescent pink dog and I’m not sure why or how that whole trend started.

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