May 29, 2008

wherein i shat my pants and run away screaming

Posted in so much for my anonymity at 10:18 am by squishy

I’m going on the assumption that everyone in the world has seen the Brendan Frasier character vehicle of a movie known as “The Mummy.” If you get TNT, I don’t know how you COULDN’T have seen it.

So you must remember, among other things: Rachel Weisz’s heaving bosom, lots of sand, and scarabs (those big black bugs).

I work on the fourth floor, and I usually take the elevator up and the stairs down. For safety precautions, the staircase is outside (newer science buildings have an indoor but segregated staircase, but this building, she is old). People take smoke breaks out there, and every now and then, a blackbird or four will hang out and incessantly caw like gossip queens.

Yesterday, I was going out for lunch when I found about 15 of these hugeass scaraby beetley bugs crawling around the exit. They were the size of walnuts. If I had the guts to step on one, it would’ve sounded like I had punched a bag of Doritos.

They were gross, and they crawled around pretty durn fast, but I figured psh, I could outrun a fucking bug. Little did I realize THEY COULD FLY. ONE FLEW INTO MY HAIR. IT GOT STUCK IN MY HAIR.

Good thing I wasn’t wearing a thong.



  1. Tina said,

    Hahahahaha!!!! A scarab is mad good luck. I have a few around my house (ceramic and paper art versions). Consider yourself blessed.

    Oh and don’t worry about the series. It turns out we could get our shit done either. Sucks for your guys though. They’ll do better next time, I just know it.

  2. Blondie said,

    Ew! That reminds me of the first time I went to Philly to visit Rana. It was mid-summer and we are in the mall, browsing at a Sharper Image and I picked up a candle holder thingy. In it was this huge oilslick-rainbow colored beetle. I just about lost it- we don’t have big bugs in Canada, man! Its too cold. This was the biggest damn bug I’ve ever seen!

    So then we high tailed it out of there and headed down to the Free People store. I duck into the change room to try on a sweater, pull off my shirt and there is another giant nasty beetle crawling on my tank!!! Ughhhh!
    What’s with all the nasty bugs down there in the States?

  3. squishy said,

    Tina: I’d BETTER get good luck for that.

    Blondie: I guess Canadian bugs are more polite like their human counterparts, and stay the hell away. I envy you.

    Although I have to say that any long-legged spiders I spot in my house are left alone. They seem to take care of my ant problem.

  4. Tina said,

    My house is like the bermuda triangle for bugs. They disappear inside and bam! they’re never heard from again (at least to their compatriots on the other side of the door). If I didn’t invite you in my house, you die. Thems the rules.

  5. Leah_Leanna said,

    Good gracious…congrats on the not having of a heart attack right then and there, which is what I would have no doubt done!
    At least, by Tina’s reckoning, you have lucky hair now, right?!? 🙂

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