July 17, 2008

a tool for tools, is it not? i fucking hate axe commercials, btw.

Posted in asshat! at 6:45 pm by squishy

But I REALLY hate the fact that the commercials are effective, and warrant a never-ending series of them, as well as ripoffs by Old Spice etc.

Compare, contrast*, and then perhaps compare again.

Razz Gentle Net Sponge: $1.50

AXE Detailer Shower Tool**: $4.99

For 333% the price, you can feel manly about buying a glorified sponge + Brillo pad that doesn’t have ‘sponge’ in its name. ‘Tis the price one pays to not feel emasculated. I’m surprised there isn’t a camouflage version for the extra insecure.

Photos: Drugstore.com

* Why not contrast and compare?  Did the first person who used that phrase insist on alphabetizing the order of the words?

** I still can’t get over it.  Shower tool. lol. That’s fucked up. Black+red = so ruggedly masculine; they should rename the ladybug and call it a testosterbeetle.

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5 Comments »

  1. Rana said,

    I now must find a use for testosterbeetle today. Tomorrow at the latest.

  2. lk said,

    testosterbeetle. love it!

    and that thing is seriously vile. and hilarious. detailer tool? you are not a car. any “detailing” that you do should probably involve a razor and your back.

    I hate axe. My husband somehow believe the hype and douses himself in it. yeah, hun…smelling like a horny teenager isn’t a turn out and most definitely won’t get you any. Where that nice gucci cologne I bought for you that smells vaguely like tea?

  3. Kelly said,

    I just feel like that thing cannot possibly be at all useful. Won’t you spend 333% more time in the shower when only a small portion of your tool even remotely resembles something that can lather with soap?

  4. Tina said,

    My boss swims in Axe. I bet he has 4 of these “tools” at home. Too bad they don’t have a smell-o-meter to let you know that people can smell you 50 feet away.

    And what is the sponge part supposed to do? Scrub off the rugged male exterior? Whatever will we do for men then?

  5. Little Tigger said,

    I like my Super Sudzer best.


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