September 14, 2008

if i had a choice, i don’t know if i would’ve preferred the internationally televised 2008 olympics that had michael phelps, nastia liukin, and the redeem team

Posted in deportes, hero at 11:02 pm by squishy

That’s a mouthful of a title. Longest title thus far!

On a more serious note, why these athletes weren’t featured in Visa commercials with Morgan Freeman narrations is beyond me.

Brazil's Severino Silva (#8) defends against Spain's Jose Lopez (#7) who tries to connect on a shot in front of Brazilian goalkeeper Fabio Vasconcelos Ribeiro (L) in their men's 5-a-side football match during the 2008 Beijing Paralympic Games on September 9, 2008 at the Olympic Green hockey field in Beijing. Brazil defeated Spain 1-0 in a sport where each team fields four blind players and one sighted or visually impaired goalkeeper. (FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)

Melissa Stockwell, right, of the United States, chats with coach Jimi Flowers during a U.S. team training session for the 2008 Beijing Paralympic Games, at the National Aquatics Center, known as the Water Cube, in Beijing Friday Sept. 5, 2008. Stockwell is one of two U.S. veterans competing in Beijing who were injured in Iraq. (AP Photo/Greg Baker)

Oscar Pistorius (R) of South Africa, Jerome Singleton (C) of the United States, and Christoph Bausch (L) of Switzerland compete in the Men's 100m T44 Final Athletics event at the National Stadium during day three of the 2008 Paralympic Games on September 9, 2008 in Beijing. (China Photos/Getty Images)

Yunidis Castillo of Cuba (C) wins gold in the final of the womens's 100m T46 race from Elena Chistilina (R) and Nikol Rodomakina (L) of Russia during the 2008 Beijing Paralympic Games on September 10, 2008. (PETER PARKS/AFP/Getty Images)

Athletes test their tricycles through a tunnel at the Olympic National Stadium, known as the 'Bird's Nest', ahead of the Paralympic Games in Beijing Wednesday, Sept 3, 2008. (AP Photo/Oded Balilty)

And there are tons more… all via

Also more at


July 14, 2008

i must sound like a baseball geek

Posted in deportes at 10:39 pm by squishy

That’s probably because I am one.  But you already knew that.

I am not overly enamored with bat swings (or home run derbies, for that matter), but jesus smoking christ.

Kudos to Josh Hamilton, he of many personal demons, Justin Morneau (the guy that actually went home with the trophy) and Clay Counsil, the 71 year old BP pitcher.

There’s an excellent recap at BP by Joe Sheehan.  Highlights:

Hamilton batted for so long that he needed a water break, as did his personal pitcher, Clay Counsil, who might well end up in “Under the Knife” after throwing more than 50 pitches in his inning. He batted for so long that Milton Bradley toweled him off twice, getting more camera time than Erin Andrews. He batted for so long that he set the record for homers in a single round, shattering the previous mark, 24, held by Bobby Abreu.

He batted so long that he saved the Home Run Derby.

The House That Ruth Built, 85 years old, goes out as The House That Hamilton Knocked Down.

Photo: Hitting Illustrated

April 18, 2008

’twas a monumental display of offensive ineptitude.

Posted in deportes, wtf? at 1:41 am by squishy

Look at this line. It’s fucked up. I never imagined a scenario where I could say that I sat through the last 14 innings of a game.

Colorado 2, San Diego 1

innings: 22
total hits: 25 (25!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
total runs scored: 3* (3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
total pitches: 657
most pitches from reliever: 80
total strike outs: 37
total walks: 13
total length of game: 6 hours and 16 godforsaken minutes
number of pitchers used as pinch hitters: 1
number of double plays: 6
number of players on active rosters NOT used: 8** (out of a possible 50)
SD batting average: 0.149
COL batting average: 0.192

*I need to add that one was walked in, one was unearned, and I can’t even remember how the first one was scored.

**Every position player, including the backup backstops were used.

It should be noted that this game was scoreless for 13 innings.

I’m SO glad I’m not a Padres fan. All this for a 1-run loss on an UNEARNED RUN. And they have to travel to Arizona for a game today.

Tina, your boys better whip the Rockies. They have no bullpen to speak of.

March 4, 2008

now THAT would be a great indie band name

Posted in deportes, wtf? at 12:33 am by squishy

I know I’m copping out with all the cut-and-paste jobs, but sweet jesus, this is too good.  Emphasis mine.

“The Cubs have had a variety of injuries this spring. So far, infielder Mark DeRosa was hospitalized with an irregular heartbeat, pitcher Jose Ascanio had a bruised face after getting punched in a robbery attempt, and outfielder Felix Pie missed a couple of days early because of a twisted testicle. Third baseman Aramis Ramirez remains sidelined with a sore right shoulder.”

How can you twist one without disturbing the other? How do you twist a testicle, anyway? They’re just floppy sacs.

I’m stopping myself from thinking too hard about this.


PS: I tried but failed to come up with an appropriate ICHC macro (this one was too obvious).
PPS: Great collection of bizarre sports injuries. Highlights include:

-Former NHL goaltender Glenn Healy missed time between the pipes after he cut his finger while attempting to repair bagpipes

-Tom Glavine, then with the Atlanta Braves, broke a rib when he threw up an in-flight meal on an airplane

-Soccer player David Seaman once broke a bone reaching for his TV remote

February 22, 2008

i hate physics, too, but bear with me

Posted in deportes tagged , at 12:16 am by squishy

Shaquille O’Neal (mass = 147.4 kg = 325 lb) is traveling at velocity x towards Raja Bell (mass = 97.5 kg = 215 lb), who is traveling at velocity y towards O’Neal.

Question: If O’Neal’s elbow makes clean contact with Bell’s noggin, what is the total volume of the welt on Bell’s head?

Assume a completely inelastic collision. Show work.

Answer after the jump, complete with visuals.
Read the rest of this entry »

February 3, 2008


Posted in deportes tagged , at 7:10 pm by squishy

Now, for your dose of Patriots-schadenfreude:


click for full-sized schadenfreudey splendor.

GO GIANTS!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!11 I admit, football is growing on me like a rash.

Eli, you sadsack, you’re no longer completely hapless!

On a more important note, pitchers and catchers report in less than 2 weeks. Color me uber-jazzed.

Photo: AP Photo/Paul Sancya

October 15, 2007


Posted in deportes tagged , , , at 11:03 pm by squishy


For 3+ hours, I was yelling (“Oh no… oh shit… YEESSSSS!!”), clapping and shrieking like a chimp on uppers. My neighbors must think I had a hot tantric session of acrobatic shagging.

Holy fluffy tomatoes, I still can’t believe it. The Rockies are going to the World Series.


Photos: AP/Jack Dempsey & David Zalubowski

October 14, 2007

sweep! sweep!

Posted in deportes tagged , at 8:55 pm by squishy


My adopted team is doing so well. I’m beaming! Positively beaming! Exclamation point!

No one is watching this series for a variety of reasons: late starting time (damn east-coasters), the fact that it’s on TBS, or that it’s the freakin’ Rockies playing the Diamondbacks. If there are only 2 people watching the NLCS, I hope the other person is Ned Colletti, the mustachioed LAD GM/bastard who has an uncontrollable mancrush on any player over the age of 35. NED! WATCH! Young teams! Doing WELL!


I don’t care who wins the ALCS; I just want them to beat the utter shit out of each other (7 games with extra innings, please) so team X makes it to the World Series bruised, bloody, limping and weeping for the Rockies to skip and prance all over. Too much to ask? Most definitely. Doesn’t mean I won’t stop rooting for that to happen.

PS: I was trying really hard not to use the f-word, but jesus, Tulowitzki is a fucking good defender. The entire Rockies’ defense is absolutely sublime, but Tulowitzki is unbelievable. If we had kids, they’d be able to make unreal diving catches and mentally calculate the time it would take for the ball to reach 1st. To the hundredth of a second.

PPS: Rockies fans are really something. It was close to freezing in Denver and raining/sleeting pretty hard throughout the whole game, but the place was packed. Arizona fans have nothing on them.

PPS: Eric Byrnes can jump in a radioactive lake.

October 8, 2007

baseball is seriously compromising my productivity

Posted in deportes tagged at 9:43 pm by squishy

Sure, a certain Los Angeles team BARELY FINISHED OVER .500. Sigh. But I still freaking heart the playoffs.






My initial picks:

Colorado over Philadelphia (check!)
Chicago over Arizona (sniffles)
Chicago over Colorado

Cleveland over New York (check!)
Boston over Los Angeles (check!)
Cleveland over Boston

Cleveland over Chicago

Too bad I picked the Cubs to make it to the World Series. I think I jinxed them. 99, 100 years.. no big difference, right? Aramis Ramirez and Alfonso Soriano will be scapegoats. Very, very expensive scapegoats.

Actually, scapegoat implies that they were blameless, when they were anything but. They really sucked (Ramirez: 0-12, 5K, OPS 0.077!!, Soriano: 2-14, 4K, 0.343 OPS).

October 3, 2007

pure speculation

Posted in deportes tagged , , at 12:53 pm by squishy

How I figure the playoffs will unravel:

Colorado over Philadelphia
Chicago over Arizona
Chicago over Colorado

Cleveland over New York
Boston over Los Angeles
Cleveland over Boston

Cleveland over Chicago

NL MVP: Rollins
NL ROY: Tulowitzki

AL MVP: Rodriguez
AL ROY: Pedroia

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